Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

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Whats worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Thats impossible because he cannot walk.

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It was dead.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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Obama

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A chicken cross's the road it dies when a car runs it over

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a water because he's the designated driver

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

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Your mom is so fat, that it causes great concern for her family.

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What's big, yellow and green? The sun, i was kidding about the green

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U ALL LIAK DIK

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What is worse than using the toilet and then realising there's no toilet paper? A racially motivated massacre.

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Whats the XBOX JUAN's most popular game. Call of Juarez!!!

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Why didn't the black man feed his family? They'd eaten about an hour ago.

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Why God isn't a woman? Because Moses wouldn't last it 40 days on the mountain if that was true. And he also wouldn't come back with only 10 rules.

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person 1: Did you hear about the black man that went to college? Person 2: no i haven't Person 1: either have I What's ironic is that they are both black

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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What did the man say halfway through his sponsored trek across the Sahara desert? Well this was a dumb idea

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Why is six afraid of seven? There might've been a little shooting accident a few days ago which put his mother in the ER. If anyone asks go to a bar and think in your head why you would ask something like that. Let it sink in.

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Q: What do you give a woman with everything? Nothing. You own nothing to give.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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