When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

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it ain't easy being cheesy Max Harrison

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What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey...I forget the rest but your mother is a hor.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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why did the girl cry while watching starwars? She was being raped

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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Why did the black homosexual blind man want to go to the comedy club? He enjoys a good laugh

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Matthew Wyckoff

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

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So a bar walks into a man...

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops