A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

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kid: dad! a kid called me gay today! dad: son, im 100% ok with u hurting that kid! kid: i cant! hes too cute.

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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Why did the Gay person fall down? He got shot.

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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