What do a grape and an Elephant have in common? For sensitivity to people who suffer from color blindness, this joke has been cancelled.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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What do you call a gay man? Phil Krahn

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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I C U P White stuff

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I heard an awesome joke last night. I cannot remember it.

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What's red and green And moves at 300mph A frog in a blender

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Yo' Mommas so poor, She has to ask close family friends and relatives for money so she can feed you.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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Q: what smells like cheese and tastes like cheese? A: cheese

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting a needle shoved up your penis and it scrapes the insides of your balls open so that all of the sperm pours out of your balls and you are screaming in agony and you can never have children in the future.

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What did the man say to the other man. Hi

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A man said to another man," you are so stupid you climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side." The second man said," well you were on this side of the wall and I'm going to kick your ass." The second man had been drinking that night.

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why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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