when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

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what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

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A boy walks home from school. On his way home some bullies stole his kite. When the boy got home he was greeted by a police officer that told him that his parents had been killed. The boy started crying and the Police officer said " whats wrong?". The boy replied " some bullies stole my kite".

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Why did the man think inside of the box? Because he was inside of the box.

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a horse walks into a bar. the barman asks "why the long face". not understanding human language, the horse takes a shit, neighs then leaves

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Why couldn't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has parkinsons and therefore couldn't keep his hand steady.

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U know whats worser than having a worm in your apple... Having 1352 dislikes on your anti-joke...

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Sex! Sex Who? Sex with me. BOOM!

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Q: Why did the black man shit himself? A: He experienced post-mortem bowel release after he was murdered due to his racial identification.

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Q: Why was the little girl cowering in a closet in a corner. A: Because there was a murderer/rapist in her house with her oarents gone.

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

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why is cancer a big thing because its bad

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What did the mentally disabled child say to the snowman? Mnnghhhmuhmuhhu ooh ooh ooh!

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Q. What's white and lives in a tree? A. A fridge.

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If i was gay... I would have strong sexual feelings towards peolple of the same sex as me

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roses are grey violets are grey i am a dog woof woof

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A white man walks into a bar. Then he gets a beer.

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why does andy speak when not spoken too because he wants a smack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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