If life gives you melons, you have dyslexia.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the girl fall off the swing? because someone threw a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

yo mama so fat she had to eat healthy food and exercise daily

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I'm so full I could stop eating.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven drove two planes into the world trade center.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what is the difference between Rick Perry and Lindsay Lohan? it only takes Lindsay 4 1/2 hours to finish a sentance.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's sad about black people that drink grape soda and eat fried chicken? The stereotypes are true.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

antijoke is the best website.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why didn't the man win the lottery? Because his lottery numbers weren't drawn.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Make me famous

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops