Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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My mom farted, now it smells, ewe. My mom just took of her shirt, BONER! My, friends mom took off her shirt, now he has a boner. We both have boners, and it smells bad. This is weird, me and my friend are very similar, except my mom farted and his mom did not. Now I hate my mom. UN-BONER!

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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why didn't Marlin monroe ( http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_Monroe ) use the iphone app guitar hero because she died before the iphone was invented !

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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rarw

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Why was Jenny alone? Everyone else had died in a zombie apocalypse.

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Roses are gray Vilots are gray im a dog

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I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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