Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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Q: what's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon A: well the first noticable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

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Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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This isn't funny.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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What did Wonder Woman say to Superman? I'm wonder woman.

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What happened to the man who lost his job? He couldn't support his family so they all became homeless and eventually died of starvation.

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Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

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what do you call two arabs flying a plane? a pilot and a co-pilot

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Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

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Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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whats brown and has a head? A: my penis

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Do Your Homework: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Get An Award At School: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Figure How To Adjust The Zoom On Your Computer: Mum & Dad - WOW HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH, YOU'RE SO CLEVER, WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?! Typical ...

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Why has there never been a Mexican on the moon? Because Mexico's government funding for their space program is insufficient to take them all the way to the moon.

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your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

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2 guys shot up a morgue..... 13 bodies remain dead.

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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