Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

How is a woman like a condom? They are not. A woman is a human being and a condom is a man-made rubber object used as contraception in sexual intercourse

Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

Why is minecraft so awesome? Because real life is boring as crap.

You were born.

What did the man say after being hit by a bus? Nothing he is now dead.

Why does everyone love Randy Jackson? Well it's sure not because he's black.

What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

Whats black and can multitask? My IPod you racist!

What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

how do you scare a deaf person? you yawn

Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

AYE DEAD ON CAOIMHIN

ejaculation JLR

Teacher- What comes after 69 Boy- Mouthwash?? Teacher- LEAVE!

what did the black guy say to the white guy? black guy: hello how are you doing white guy: good i guess.... just heard they shut down KFC black guy: that sucks

Suzie has no arms. Knock Knock (whos there?) Not Suzie.

Why was the boy late for class? He was late because he got stabbed and left in the bathroom.

Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

what do you call 3 mexicans in the back of a car? Carpooling to work to save on gas.

What do a plum and a bunny have in common? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

you know what? CHICKEN BUTT. butt of chicken ahahahaa

How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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