Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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Why did the boy fail the test? He had down syndrome.

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Why could the kid not finish his homework? Because it flew out the window on the way to his parents funeral

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Why do depressed people like sharp knives? Cause there good for cutting Salad

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is a chicken and is not intelligent enough to know that he is about to be hit by a bus while hopelessly searching for food under an elderly man's nose.

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Why was Emily in Alaska? Because she and some friends had been playing Simon Says at a birthday party, and the dad had said 'Simon Says go to Alaska'.

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69

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What kind of martial arts does the Jewish man practice? Kung-Fu

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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What do you call a joke that isn't funny? A joke that isn't funny.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? That depends on what his name is.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't he was chicken

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven? She was paralyzed.

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eat a hot dog

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

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roses are red violets are pink your nanas in the cowfeild with a bottle of stink... not really shes long gone.

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your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

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Girl:Do you wanna hear a joke? Boy:Sure... Girl: jesus loves you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops