What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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Why was the man "hanging around"? He committed suicide.

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How did the man lose his arm? beacuse of the five year old with a knife obsesion standing right beind you at this minute...

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The last joke I tried to submit used "trolololol" as the enter code thing and I spelled it without the extra "lol" The lolz have got me again *this time it asked me for "basket case"

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how does an Arab scare someone He does a countdown

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What do you call a mexican man with a rubber toe? Ruberto.

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Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

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Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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What is the difference between an empty bucket and a bucket of water? The Water.

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Quinn Grifith Randel lives in Roswell, GA

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Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

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How do you identify a Chinese tank? They smash their own people.

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Your mom is so dumb that all of society says she was poorly educated.

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How are a black man and a banana similar? They are both intelligent human beings, except for the banana.

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What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

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While i was driving, my son asked, 'Have you had an accident in the last 5 years Dad?' And I replied, 'You're almost four now son'.

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How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

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My new friend, aka future fuckbuddy asked me what I do for a living. I told her, I write books. She asked me if I had gotten anything published yet. I told her: EXCUSE ME? DID I SAY I WAS A PUBLISHER? She laughed, for some reason... Good enough of an Antichri... Antijoke.

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Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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