Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

Two men are walking along the Great Wall of China. "Do you know how many years it took to build this?" one man asked. "Yes," the other replied. "Me too."

Wanna hear a joke? Ruddell had sex.

Q.who is Tiny, a lion and has no friends and is a bald eagle? A.Rory Johnston

If your name is coincidentally stated in this text, you will have to pay 200 of your country's currency to the person nearest to you whose first name starts with the letter G. Dexter / Ryan That is all....

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, Herp Derp

My black friend love grape soda and koolaid, with his fried chicken, and i dont think its racist cuz i also enjoy the same things at times

A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your Uncle jackoff an elephant? Probably not because it would take more than 3 hands to jack off an elephant P.S. Your Uncle Jack only has 1 hand. Your uncle was on a swing and a clown cut off his hand with an ax

Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

Why was the mushroom invited to the party? It was because it was a mushroom costume party

A muslim walks into an airport. He then buys his ticket, boards his plane, and his flown to his proper destination.

once upon a time jess was happy this once upon a time was a very long time ago, BABADOOK !

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

what do you call a woman with cancer wearing a wedding dress? a shouttellcock

What's faker than Nicki Minaj's tits? Women rights.

What do you call a baby with a shadow? A shadow-baby!

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? ... Well, do you know or not?

Two guys walk into a bar. But the third one was a duck.

What's worse than a mentally retarded boy screaming in your ear while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors? 2 retarded boys screaming in your ears while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors.

how do you get a blonde one-handed woman out a tree? wave

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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