A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

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Why did the women sleep in the kitchen. Due to the poverty levels of her area of residence, sub-sahara Africa, she, her 7 children and 3 orphaned nephews lived in one ram shackled room with a corrugated iron roof which served as a multi-purpose kitchen, bedroom, lounge and greeting area.

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey..I forget the rest but your mother is a whore.

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Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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"If life was fair, I would have a girlfriend" - William Deane

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What is worse than getting stung by a wasp? Getting raped by a sexually frustrated bear.

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That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

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What do you call a man with a gun in his mouth? Keith.

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Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

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What do you call a Mexican that doesn't have a lawn mower? An honest working induvidual that just so happens to live in the city and does not own a lawn mower

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whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy on the road? there is skid marks leading up to the dog.

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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an orange and an apple are both in a fruit bowl, the apple says nothing as its an apple and apple's cant speak its just an apple

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how did the guy in the wheelchair cross the road he didnt he got dragged down the street cause his chair was hooked to the bus

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Nero here, nice to see you guys again, now you know why my babbling has been excessive (and pissed at the comments below, but now that the pills are working I am calm) Anyway, yeah point Zero is my "world" now, and its been thriving under my values (something I feared would just work on paper, and if so such beliefs would all been for nothing) As for hero... Well insert something like "I am no hero, I just do what is right" or something cheesy, or... Well, thats what I do really... Since nobody uses this site Ill extend the time you "former followers" can chat, as I got some nice stuff to share, and might just share a bit before I pass away (nah, but I will sleep when tired), I got a lot to do tomorrow.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Delivery for a Mr. Peerson? Oh yes, that's me. Thank you.

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what kind of person would you call dumb the ones who read anti jokes

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Why was the mime crying? Her husband died.

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Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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What time is it? I just looked at my clock on the wall. It is 9:14 AM Eastern Standard Time.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a fetish for sniffing your shoes.

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a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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