Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

What did the douche bag get for Christmas? Your girlfriend.

Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He thanked the gracious african-descented donor, and with a little luck he just might see his beautiful wife and kids again

Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

what goes woof ? A dog.

If Johnny can hold 7 bottles of Vodka in one hand and 6 cans of beer in the other, what does Johnny have? A drinking problem.

What did the african get for his birthday? an ounce of water, as water is very scares in his community and it is a great resource

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

What is green fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

Why did the weird alien jump everywhere? You probably don't want to know. If you learned why it jumped everywhere,you probably would make fun of it. I don't know if you know this, but aliens are sensitive. If you made fun of him, you probably would create World War 3:Humans VS Aliens.

A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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