roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the girl call the boy? ugly. they hated eachother.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I mustache you a question. But I'll shave it for later.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what did the cripple, the cancer guy, the blonde, and the blackguy have in common they all have no reason to live

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock, Knock! Go away!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A white man went to the basketball court to play basketball and was confronted by a group of black men. They kindly invited the white man to play basketball with them and they had a nice day

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is the difference between a black person and an elevator? Well, there are many differences such as the fact that an elevator has a series of wiring and mechanics, while a black man, and white men alike, are human beings.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the blind man have a poo Because he needed one.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what happens when an unstoppable force hits an unmovable object? it goes around.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What would you do for a Klondike Bar? I would probably spend somewhere under 3 dollars at a store, but only if somebody else drives me. I really don't want to drive, not in this gas shortage. You know what...forget it, Klondike Bars make my teeth hurt due to my sensitive teeth problem. I know I should get that sensitive teeth tooth paste, but I always forget when at the store.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why do gingers have no friends? They are non sentient stems that are simply not capable of interacting with intellectual humans

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man is at a party. He gets hungry so he waits in the foodline and then he gets some food. Then he has to go to the bathroom so he waits in the bathroomline and goes to the bathroom. Then he is thirsty so he goes to get some punch and realizes that there is no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: How fast does an F-16 fly? A: Pretty Fast

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

??????????? ??????????????? "Hello, idiot teacher! You eat milk."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops