How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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There are two eggs sitting in a carton in the refrigerator. The first egg says, "Sure is cold in here, eh?" The second egg replies, "Holy crap! A talking egg!"

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Black people stink of shite!

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Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

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Why did the student get the math question wrong? -Because hes dead

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Q. What do you say when a baby gets hit by a car? A. Lol fail

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after being hit by a train.

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God said onto john "come forth and receive eternal life" john came fifth and received a toaster.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Someone with a lame joke: What's black and white and red all over? Smart person who decides to mess with him: Nothing, if it is red all over how can it be black and white???????

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The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

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Justin Beiber

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A guy walks into a bar. NOT!

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PENIS

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He is outside, running for it, Erron, seriously who is We? I thought you where an author.

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What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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I was going to write a joke about Alzheimers ... but I completely forgot it.

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who has less of a soul then you? a ginger

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Which is the rarest animal in the North pole? The Polaroid.

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What is 1 inch long and eats everyone in it's way .... my pet fish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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