why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead.

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There was an American, Mexican, and a Chineese man, they were all on a plane about to crash. They all threw off the plane somthing they had a lot of in their country before they died. the mexican sacraficed tacos. the chineese sacraficed noodles. and the american picked up the mexican and chineese and was about to throw them off beacause he had too many of them in their country but then he came to relization that a community with biodiversity is an important factor in life today. i mean, someones gonna have to mow the lawn?

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A blind man walks into a deaf woman. He tries to apologize but she can't hear him.

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your mamma so fat... she went to hell.

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What did Chuck Norris say when he stubbed his toe? "Oh shit I stubbed my toe."

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A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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A priest, rabbi, and a monk are sitting on a plane. One is in first class, one is in business class, and one is in coach. It turns out they're all going to the same interfaith conference.

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Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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"Really, how is your wife?" "You know she's dead right?" "Cool mine too!" They high five in mid air and lived happily ever after

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why wasn't the boy at his moms funeral? He killed his mom.

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How do you get a fat man to go outside? Blow up his house

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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why cant dogs write letters? They do not have the dexterity to hold a pen, or even comprehend the basic language skills and grammatical layout of how to write a letter

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What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

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What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

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Why didn't the woman need a watch? Because she had both her hands amputated after battling diabetes.

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What did one friend say on his friend's myspace page? You need a Facebook

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A black man, an arabic man, and a hispanic man are all in a car, who is driving? The black man.

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so you're waling through the desert and a tire falls off your canoe. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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