If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

A Black man walks into a bar. He then has a drink of Alcohol and walks home to return to his family.

why was the kid sitting in a wooden chair? Because at the early age of four he was diagnosed with cancer and genital warts!

What did the man with no head say to the women?

Why did the man die? He was old.

Roses are blue Violets are buckets this poem makes no sense Washing machines

Why did the boy have glass in his mouth? Because he was chewing on glass.

"Really, how is your wife?" "You know she's dead right?" "Cool mine too!" They high five in mid air and lived happily ever after

How do you get a fat man to go outside? Blow up his house

why wasn't the boy at his moms funeral? He killed his mom.

An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

why cant dogs write letters? They do not have the dexterity to hold a pen, or even comprehend the basic language skills and grammatical layout of how to write a letter

A priest, rabbi, and a monk are sitting on a plane. One is in first class, one is in business class, and one is in coach. It turns out they're all going to the same interfaith conference.

Why didn't the woman need a watch? Because she had both her hands amputated after battling diabetes.

What did one friend say on his friend's myspace page? You need a Facebook

What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

How do you turn that frown upside down? You move many muscles in your face.

why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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