How did the blind dyslexic boy find his way out of the cornfield? -He drew backwords numbers and letters in the dirt

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Neither did she.

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

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What has 3 eyes, green fur and blue ears? Nothing.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My face isn't long relative to the others of my species, it is actually quite normal."

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2 blondes walk into bolemics anonymous.

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i did ur mom lol. thats the joke. : )

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Why would a woman be out of the kitchen? Because she is busy working, being outside, resting, or any other activity that does not include food.

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up, you retarded black poet!

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What's long, yellow, and can kill you if swallowed? A school bus

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How did the Nazis torture someone? They inserted a glass tube in the penis and flicked the end so that it shattered.

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What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? No one laughs at your jokes.

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A woman walks into a bar and asks for a duck. The bartender is confused, assumes the women has some sort of mental problem, and treats her nicely, as his sister suffers from Down's Syndrome.

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

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what do you get when you cross a red snugulo and a blue glurga? your on acid

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Once a man asked a lady working at the supermarket, Can I see your avocados? She kindly walked him over to the rack where they were being held.

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What did the cow do when it got run over by a tractor? It died.

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Is it true that curiousity killed the cat? No, I hit it multiple times with a baseball bat

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YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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