How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD.

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A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

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Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

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you gay?

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Why did the little boy viciously slash the orange object with a carving knife? Because it was Halloween.

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A guy walks into a restaurant.... He ordered his meal , got desert and left a nice tip based off a percentage of his final bill.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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How did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

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A guy walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because he is only 19 years old.

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How many Mexicans can you fit in a Smart car? None. It's too damn small!

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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Why was the black man sad? Because his wife and children had been killed in a freak car accident while he had been driving.

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whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

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A guy walks into a bar and says ouch.

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What did the orphan get christmas? CANCER

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So I was sitting in traffic the other day... And I got run over.

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THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

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Whats brown and smells bad poo

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What's red and blue and goes 105 MPH? A red and blue car.

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Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

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What did the black man do in the Italian Pub? He gave a 20% tip and couldn't have been more courteous.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops