So there's this moose right? And he walks into the store and asks where the potatoes are. And the cashier lady says aisle 5. So the moose walks to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have condoms, But we didn't use them with you. You were DP'd, Now you have STD.

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Whats worse than ten dead babies in one tree? I dont know, but that is quite a graphic sight i have in my mind right now.

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There are 5 men in a desert a black man a white man a gay a lesbian and a white woman they have no food or water and haven't had any in 3 weeks civilization is 1 mile away how many people live and which ones They all die you can only live 3 days without water.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Knock Knock! Whos There? Little boy blew! Little boy blew who? Micheal Jackson....

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she saw her future.

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What is worse than getting a bad grade on a test. Having your family dog bled out in front of you, bitch.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man nothing. Because It's a duck.

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Reminds me of when I was a teen, I was working at an elderly home, and there was this really really old woman, and she was leaning forward towards me on her wheelchair, one of her hands accidentally near my crotch, I mean this granny was really senile and shit. Then she went all like, you really like it when I touch you there don't you? I mean it was not the best nor the fastest one, but all that excitement "OMG WHAT IF I GET CAUGHT BY A COLLEAGUE WHILE A 89 YEAR OLD WAS JACKING ME OFF!" Really made it all special folks... Especially when I got caught, it was like OMG STRESS ORGASM HOLY DONT CUM NOOOAAAARGHHHH!!!!!! WOHOOOOOO! I walked outta there like a champ, I was like 18 and my girlfriend/colleague which caught me was like, 27, and the next week she was 32, and before you know it, she was 46 on facebook... Thats like you know... Too old or something...

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what do an elephant and a mouse have in common? nothing

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Why did the boy go to his room? Because his father told him to.

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Why did the black man cry? He was grieving the death of his brother C.D

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A black man and two Mexican men are all in the same car, who's driving? One of the Mexicans.

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Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

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What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

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What's 9+ 10?! 19

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Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

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What's the difference between an egg and a Llama? The'yre both not lamps.

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My Muslim friend is always late to everything. We call him 9/12.

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Why was the African Americanfemale at an abortion clinic? Because she just killed a child.

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How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

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What do you get when you cross bread an eagle, a wolf and shark together? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it will kill all of us!

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fish fishy caoimhin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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