My three children are three big mistakes.

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What's purple and glows? An electric grape

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One out of every 3 smokers dies.................. the rest gain immortality.

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how do you kill chuck norris. you don't

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Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realising the apple is the worm...

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Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunett: i don't know Blonde: NOBODY KNOWS!!!

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A black man confronts a small white man on the sidewalk and asks for money. The white man responded "no".

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Hi Mum!!!!!!!!

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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Knock Knock ! Who's there? Jim. Oh come in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

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A Mexican walked into a bar. He never came back out.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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-Ask me if I'm a tree. +Are you a tree? -Yes. -Ask me if I'm an orange. +Are you an orange? -No, I'm a tree, were you listening me?

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Some people like melon and others like soup.

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Why couldn't the bird fly? cause it was a penguin

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Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

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I am very humble.

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Why Russians ride bears? Because god hate bears

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Q.who is Tiny, a lion and has no friends and is a bald eagle? A.Rory Johnston

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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Roses are red , Violets Are Blue , i Dont Like rhyming , TITTIES !!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops