How do you wake up Lady GaGa? Poke her Face.

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And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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A blind woman was watching tv. think about it

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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What's worse than losing a contact Having a bloody stool

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how do you beat the system? throw your xbox out a window.

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One sux, the other is decent. But supporting the sucky one shows u are dedicated.

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What is yellow and smells like a flower? A yellow flower :)

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Q: What do you call a black pilot. A: A pilot you racist.

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42

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a man walked into a bar because he needed a part time job to support his family.

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Girl: That's pretty big. Boy: That's what she said. Woman: Yes, I enjoys large genitals.

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? Because he was a heroin addict

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why did the monkey buy a shoe? to put em on!!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

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ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

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Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

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why did the Mexican shoot himself? because his wife miscarried, hung herself, and his oldest brother had cancer. also when he was 5, his parents died in a car accident, leaving his abusive uncle to care for him. he also had erectile dysfunction which caused him severe pain. did i mention he was an illegal, homeless immigrant who was addicted to methamphedimine and owed several million dollars to a man who repeatedly raped him anally? he was.

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What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

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What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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