Tell my wife I died doing what I love... Not her

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding an apple in your pet worm.

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Q:Why did the bunny run up the hill? A:Because he can't run under it.

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Where did Susie go in the bombing? Nowhere. Susie is the bomber.

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Mario goes home after a hard day of work and finds his entire family killed and a note from Bowser... He is now an asshole who beats and rapes kids...

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Kumquats Daffodils Alka-Seltzer Serendipity Dewey Decimal System Buccaneer Avuncular Pantaloons Weasels Alligator Chewbacca Sasquatch

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A man walks into a bar. He proceeds to get intoxicated and then commits a felony.

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A black guy walks into his bar. So he pays his tab and couldn't have been more coureious.

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A coach walks into the team dressing room at halftime; his team is down 42-0. He screams at the players, "You guys are playing like a bunch of grannies. No offense"

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Why can't Johnny ride a bike? Because Johnny is a potato.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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What do you call an unfunny comment that demeans a group of people? Bigotry

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What is three times more dangerous than war? Three wars.

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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a korean man with no legs sits on a porch. He has no legs so it's considered standing

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Why did the Jew post a free link on his Facebook wall? Because it is funny and he hoped his friends would like it.

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Hey, Max!!

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

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When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

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Why did YUR MOM cross the road? To go slap her annoying-ass twelve year old for using "your mom" as an insult.

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Why was six afraid seven? Well, ever since six took an arrow to the knee he wanted to know who shot it. so he did some investigating, looked up some records and found seven was in the same war as him. then he thought about it, the big 7 scribed on the arrow he got shot with. Right then and there pain went into his back shooting upwards. He smacked the ground, and in his last moments of life saw seven standing above him. If your expecting another end down here then your a stereotype.

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mommy, mommy, the ice cream man is coming can i have a dollar? sure sweetie. YAY! Goes up to ice cream truck, ice cream man asks what would you like little boy, would you like chocolate, vanilla, str.... Ice cream man steals small boy.

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suck my balls mr.garison

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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