Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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What did Johnny do this wednesday? He went to school to be academically taught to get a high GPA of all the other children so he could go and pursuit his dream so he won't be left at home with a drunk wife and 6 kids with $190,000 in debt from the IRS

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs sitting on your street corner? Suicidal.

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If god gives you lemons keep the lemon go to the store and buy oranges to make orange juice.

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What did a policeman say to his belly? Nothing. Because he knows his belly is incapable of speech.

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I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

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What hurts more than a bullet? A bullet penetrating your skin, muscle and embedding itself in your body

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anti-joke.com

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2 brothers were arguing, both had anger problems to the point where one started war with the other. Boy1: I HATE YOU Boy2: MOM HATES YOU Boy1: ....Wait why? Boy2: YOU WERE AN ACCIDENT SHE TRIED TO SELL YOU TO A MEXICAN AND HE SAID THAT THING WAY TOO DAM UGLEH ITD BURN THE FACES OFF MY COWS.

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Your mom is so old that she has a lot of wrinkles because that's what happens to people when they get old.

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a gin and tonic. The bartender gives him a sprite and charges him $12.

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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Why is Evan short? He was born that way.

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Why did Juan cross the border into America? To provide a better opportunity for him and his family.

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Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

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Why is French Fries not a Chinese Food? Answer: Because the Chinese people will get offended.

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Why did the boy commit scuicide? Because he was mentaly scared due to constant tormenting and teasing from his friends

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A man walks into his house only to find someone in the livingroom touching the stereo. He then goes up to his wife, and kisses her.

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I am iron man 24 flavors in my van i am the icecream man i have met jackie chan

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do you have a wife?

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Knock knock We aren't home Sorry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a green man.

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Q: What would you do if i pushed you down the stairs A: I would suffer from serious head injuries thus filling you with guilt for performing such a deed.

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What's the difference between an X-box and Michael Jackson? One is an inanimate object and the other is a human being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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