Keanu Reaves

Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

UP

A boy tells his teacher, "I want to be like hitler when I grow up and kill all the jews and one clown." The teacher replies, "Why the clown?" The boy says, "See no one cares about the jews."

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

religion

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

Knock Knock.. Who's there? The IRS, you owe $50,000 in back taxes and we're repossessing your home.

why did chuck norris walk on water? because he's chuck norris

Weed.

Do you think the death man heard the one about, oh wait I bet he didn't

Why didn't the cat eat its supper? It was dead.

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender: why the long face Horse: I'm dying of an incurable cancer...

Why did Gary's cat fall from the tree? He didn't use enough gaffa tape.

How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

Why did the chicken kill himself To get to the other side.

every knight i see an owl at window

I just pooped in my boyfriends mouth. He ate it. Ps. I am a boy

I take the "the" out of Psychotherapist

Why did the Black guy work at KFC? To provide money for his struggling family.

How did the baby cross the road? .......... It was stapled to the chicken.

What was big and stiff A 30cm ruler

How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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