what did the left nut say to the right nut? The guy above us is a real dick huh?

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Whats great about F***ing twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

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A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

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How many Spanish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Uno

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What do you call a nun who is just walking around? A Roman Catholic

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How did Sarah Palin see Russia from her house? She didn't.

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What do you call a partially deaf obese man? Anything you want, it's unlikely that he'll hear you. If he does manage to catch what you said, your chances of outrunning him are very good considering that he's likely to tire before you, unless you're overweight yourself of course. If this is the case then perhaps you should hit the gym, obesity is a growing problem in the Western world and greatly increases your chance of heart disease and/or diabetes.

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A man had two horses. One was black and one was white. He cut the tail of one of them to tell them apart.

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked

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"Docter, docter, I think I have cancer!" "I don't really care."

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How do pigs get hurt? They are run over by a tractor.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Orchids are white, Sunflowers are yellow

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How do you keep a secret? Kill yourself.

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The biggest lie in the world . . . I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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How do you get five black men in a car? You offer them a good deal, then show them the car fax.

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Knock knock Who's there? Impatient Hellen Keller. Impatient Hellen Keller who? ...

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OOOOPPS /

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Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! Win a few Lose a few I'm Donald Trump!

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Whi can't John sleep? Because he is dead!

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If Jim lives in north carolina, what does that make his dad's brother? Black

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by a giant elephant.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, whoever met you is a BIG fool

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It's 4/20. You know what that means? Today is a Wednesday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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