There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were driving with a gorilla when suddenly the car crashed. All the women died but only the gorilla survived. The police investigated with the gorilla and did some simple sign language. The police, using hand motions, asked the gorilla what each individual female was doing before the car crashed. The gorilla ran away for reasons unknown.

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a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was something of interest on the other side.

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A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because that's where all of the other chickens are.

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A man walked into a bar. He broke his nose.

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What is similar about a goose and newly weds? They both aren't chairs

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What do Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder have in common? They're both well known figures who have inspired many.

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Lillie: tell me three adjectives that would describe yourself. Ellie: pretty, smart, and funny. Lillie: if I were to analyze you...I would say you are pretty, smart, and funny.

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Whats fuzzy and greenand if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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How Many R's are in Terrence? two, how could there be 6?

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Why can't a blonde swim? Because in this economy her parents never took her to a pool in which she could get swimming lessons and practice to be able to be a good or maybe great swimmer.

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Nock nock Whos there? The mailman, I have a package for you. Thank you.

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Dad: sussy, do you know how you were made? Sussy: No, how? Dad: With this DICK!!

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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Q:What do you get when you mix a tiger and a panda? A:nothing, its impossible

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whats chinese noodles

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What's behind Chuck Norris' beard? His chin

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Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

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What did the compliemantry peanuts say to the man? "Nice tie."

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What happend to the Jew when he was near the fire place He very carefully tended to it

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So a 12 year old suicide bomber walks in to a military base and kills 31 soldiers. It happened. Look it up.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall of the second time? I pushed her.

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Q: What's the worst part of 3 Mexicans dying in a car accident? A: They were my friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops