How do you make a puppy stop barking? Throw a brick at it.

Yo mama so stupid that she was tested and found to be mentally retarded.

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A co-pilot

what do u say when u see your tv floating in the middle of the night? drop it n*****

A blind man asked me out last night. I told him I was seeing someone...

Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

Q-What did the hobo get for Christmas? A-Pneumonia.

Why did the penis enter the vagina? They were trying for a baby

what do u call something black and hanging from a tree.............................. a black guy

What has four legs, yet it can't walk? A dead horse.

What's the difference between a mexican and a park bench? One is a minority whose ancestors originally lived in the central american country of Mexico, the other is a useful convenience that provides a place to rest one's legs in a public place.

Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. Are you a grapefruit? No.

Your mom's your dad's wife. Except when she's not.

What's white and sticky? A white stick.

Your Mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

Guy #1: Knock knock Guy #2: Whos there? Guy #1: Interrupting murderer Guy #2: Interrupting murd.... Guy #1: STAB!!!

Knock Knock .... Knock Knock .... Pum Pum Pum .... LAPD! open the door!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

About the bible, I did not know, but I can sense I calculate it the same way I make our followers believe that I can tell what catchphra they will get. Your mind is numb but calm, it will remain there until we meet again. I am afraid of saying this, but I wont let fear get to me just yet, your mother told me, she regrets her actions in life, and wants me to tell you that she is watching over you in death, and hopes you will one day forgive her, she tells me that there is a heaven, but only those that can admit their mistakes, agonize over the pain of their actions, until they can forgive themselves for their misdeeds. She says she can wait, but I sense she is doing it because she feels undeserving, which again means that you are not ready, its like the butterfly effect, all things spiritual and on this plane are connected. Take your time, I know you literally cant forgive her yet, because that would not be enough for her to forgive herself now, humans dead or alive, cannot be truly free, until they let go of what hurts them, I will change that within you, so you can forgive her and break the limits in your mind, so you can stop feeling sad for being rightfully angry at someone you love. I just need more energy, more time, and belief in myself, something that requires more energy than it should to keep going, its the balance and connection between things, something I cannot change at the present moment, even if I did my best. Ill see you around dear friend.

Mr.Green walks into the class. He is alone with no wife and no kids and suffers from depression. His salary is below average and he can't pay the rent this week so he'll probably get evicted. He has aids. He will die in 2 weeks.

Your mom is so poor, she can't afford nice clothing.

Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

why did katy fall off her bike?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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