I look back at all those hours I wasted playing those stupid video games, but then I'm reminded of all those people I brutally killed.

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How can you kill someone who looks like a squirrel? With an bomb. That would kill most people.

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A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman walk into a bar and the barman asks "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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'Knock Knock' 'Who's there?' 'My name is Boo, I'm sorry,I think I was given the wrong address, I'll be on my way now' Boo walks away from the unsuspecting person's front door and goes to the next house along in the hope of finding the house he was originally searching for.

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On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me nothing because I'm single

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how many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? none their all dead.

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Two men are walking in a forest And they find this deep whole, so they spit in it to see how deep it but they here nothing So they throw a rock in and still hear nothing Them they find this old tramission and throw that in. A couple second later the goat comes running by and jumps in the whole A couple minutes pass and an old farmer walks up and asks if they had seen his goat and they replied" yea it just ran and jumped into that whole. The farmer says "that's weird considering I had him tied up to an old tramission

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What did the mom say to her clinically depressed son? You're dad died

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knock knock - "who's there" - "i'm a escaped convict who's here to murder you and rob your house" - "Well come in the doors already open"

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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How many Aumish farmhands does it take to operate a state of the art commercial laser-cutter? One,provided he has the relevant training and experience.

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What do you call a barn full of black people? antique farm equipment.

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What black and has children A black man

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

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Q. What roles did girls play in the Gold Rush of 1849? A. Miners.

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Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

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Knock Knock Whose there? Me! Hi

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Woman's rights

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had herpes.

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What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill? Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? Mud slide What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill? Jailbreak

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Are you related to Yoda? because yoda-licious!!!!

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Why did the cat have hair? Because he did.

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What do a bench and a mexican have in common? (don't worry it's not racist) You'll find both in a park. (I lied)

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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