Why did the Mexican choose the blue marker over the green one? Because he his favorite color was green, and it was Opposite Day.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's brown and sticky? The faeces of a glue stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you make a mailman mad? you sleep with his wife

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"Knock, Knock," a man called out. A child threw open the door and peered out at him. "Why didn't you just knock instead of saying 'knock knock'?" Flustered, the man couldn't come up with an answer, and the child promptly closed the door, locked it, and returned to her previous activities.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Show me the money! Said the man last wednesday.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply because he was incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the dirty homeless girl get for Christmas -A DILDO

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the kid raise his hand in class because he had a question

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's a pirate's favorite school subject? Pirate math.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Hillary Clinton

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Captchas.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Man 1: Nock-nock Man 2: Please leave my place of residence

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When you hit an animal Realize your out of your mind Then realize the animals mind is over there in the ditch.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Assosiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Hey could I ask you a question? Yes Thanks

thumb_up thumb_down +3

"What's uhhh.". "Crap I forget" "Oh yeah! 32!"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Chantelle, I loved you, but you cheated with Johnathan from Church...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Who's there? Pussy... Do you get it? Think about what you just answered.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What would make a black guy sad? His mom dying on death bed...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

who likes fried chicken? almost everyone because fried chicken is delicious

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did was micheal jackson named micheal jackson? because his was

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mommas so fat, that she's really big.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Chuck Norris say when he saw a cop -Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops