What's worse than a bad test score? Getting hit buy a train!!

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there was a tomatoes and it blew up and died. Why did it blow up? The Nazi's needed ketchup for there Jew Burgers

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A black guy and a white guy are in a fight, who wins The white guy because they were in a fight over when the black guy was going to die.

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Whats worse than 2 holocausts? 2 and one tenth of a holocaust

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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So a leg, an arm and a head win the Boston marathon. And I'm sitting here masturbating, ...

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Why was the T-Rex so bad at math? Cause it was stupid

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Why did the pedophile get arrested? He was driving way over the speed limit.

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What is green and has weels? A green bycicle.

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It's a man's 100th birthday, and as one of his last wishes he wants to go skydiving. Unfortunately, due to his crippling arthritis, he was unable to pull the rip cord on his parachute and plummeted to his death.

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What has 4 eyes and can't see. Blind siamese twins!

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What do you call a really small grape? A grape.

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There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

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What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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yo' momma's so fat that when she saw a doctor he told her that she was overweight.

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Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

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What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

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what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

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What did the kid with no brain get for his birthday? Nothing because nobody thought that he would do anything with the toys because he couldn't think of what to do with them.

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A man calls 911 911: hello? Man: sorry wrong number.

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're white. Or pink. Or yellow. There are roses of many colors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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