How do you survive the plague? you dont.

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wanna hear a good anti-joke? no, anti-jokes are a waste of time.

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A kid goes to Band Camp and comes back better at the Trumpet.

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JLo made a song about my diick- "On the Floor"

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In Soviet Russia, millions of innocents died due to the oppression.

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What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

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Why did the man have a hole in his head? He was shot.

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Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

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Knock Knock… Who is there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Actually I really wish you did, because I am Hypokalemic and am about to die you asshole.

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What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He returned it to the crazed gentleman who sent it to him.

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What's the difference between Cindy Crawford and a Snickers bar? Nothing. One is a mediocre actress, the other is a peanut based bar of chocolate confectionary.

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why did tom drop his ice cream he didn't because he had no icecream

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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Two cannibals were eating a man, one at the top and one at the bottom. The cannibal at the top said, "are you having fun down there?" The cannibal at the bottom said, "yeah, I'm having a ball!"

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Q:Why did the boy cry? A: because his mom was hit by a bus Q: why did the boy wipe his face? A:he was covered in his mother blood and threatened all the witness who saw him push his mother into the bus

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why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

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What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

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What do you call a Fish without the I? Astyanax mexicanus, or the Blind Cave variant of the Mexican tetra

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Tits. Tits, who? SUCK EM'!

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69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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