Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's black, white, and red all over? The color scheme. Except for the black and white. They're shades.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A black man walks into a Ku Klux Klan meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Michal j. fox has Parkinsons disease. He is tired of losing at jenga

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a large pizza and a Mexican? A large pizza can feed a family.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do you get when you cross an African with a Rhinoceros? A rhinoceros.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What comes first the chicken or the egg? A: Pineapple.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is scary? Obama might get reelected.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If you looked up stupid in Webster's dictionary, you wouldn't see a picture of yourself, because Webster's dictionary doesn't have pictures.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Womans profesional lacrosse

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the man shoot himself Because he was black

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did one homo say to the other? Well, the politically correct term is homosexual, and he didn't say anything because they've never met.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's black and flies? Whatever it is, it's not a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

My name is Harry.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the one handed man cross the road? to get to the secondhand shop.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops