A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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what did the angry asian man do after chrashing his car? He died later in the hospital that night from a combination of severe head trauma, internal bleeding, and various fractures.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

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A black guy walks into a bar. When he saw the white bartender's bar he got offended. There were heads of hunted animals on the walls. He works for PETA.

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Your mom is so stupid she went back to collage and got her masters n buissnes.

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knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

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Whats worse than a blonde jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car, and orphaning two little girls who are beat in the orphanage and become homeless and unimportant and consequently jumping off bridges themselves?

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why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

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A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

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how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

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you ever put a vibrating phone on your b a l l s ???

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Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

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How do you fit 6000000 jews into a car? 1 in the front, 1 in the back and the rest in the ashtray.

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"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

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Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops