I have a sandwich and chips for lunch! But instead of a sandwich I have macaroni, and instead of chips I have no friends.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? The Ferrari is expensive and the babies are in a nice hospital.

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When I was a kid, I had a clown at my birthday party. He molested me. Later I found out the clown was my dad.

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two black guys are in a car. Whose driving? The question is too broad. Either one of those men or unmentioned people could be driving the car.

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What's white or grey or brown or green or black or yellow or purple ? Could be almost anything, really.

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Behind every fat girl is a beautiful woman. No, seriously. Get out of the way.

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I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

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Why were little Suzie's parents crying? Suzie was kidnapped by Al Qeada

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what do you call a mixbreed of a bull dog and a shitzu? a sharpei

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Fuzzy Whuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Whuzzy has no hair. Fuzzy Whuzzy has Cancer.

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Why didn't the blonde go to the party? Her depression finally got the best of her and she shot herself

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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What do you call a baby in a blender? The newest Doritos dip.

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What did Helen Keller see on her trip? Nothing

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey lolololol Im a dog

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Yo mom's so fat, she's overweight !

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So a man is sitting at a bar with about 20 girls sitting all around him. Amazed at this man's ability to pick up girls, another man asked him how he did. In response, the man said, "What?". The man wasn't able to hear the other man, due to the fact that there were many girls talking.

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roses is red violet is blue i will smack you

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What's spongy and smells of treacle? Treacle sponge

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Bill: Whats 2 + 2? Joe: Your mom

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Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

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Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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what happens during a climax apples

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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