There once was a squirrel. He lost his nuts.

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How many Wal-Mart employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, assuming he can reach it safely.

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Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Kill his family.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: Newton's Law dictates that they would hit the ground at the same time.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Your everything I've ever dreamed of you sing like a bird your gorgeous your funny your friendly your sensitive your caring your unique and one day I will kill you.

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Why did the black man fail math? He had missed many classes due to his mother's terminal cancer.

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how many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? there are no babies they are all dead in my garage

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What's worse than your family dying in a fire? Nothing, that really sucks.

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What is woman spelled backwards? namow.

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your joke is so unoriginal. i had heard the joke before.

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What is the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Lamborghini I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Your Mamas So Fat That When She Jumped Into The Ocean All The Whales Swam Around And Started Sinqinq (We Are Family Even Though Your Fatter Than Me.)xD

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and a man? Nothing. I was lying about their being a difference.

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Thumbs down if you like this anti-joke!

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Someone listens to an anti joke. They laugh.

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So. The gays. ...

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A man forgets to hang his food in a tree on a camping trip. A bear comes and kills his wife and two kids but leaves the man to live with the guilt for the rest of his life.

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What did the stuffed animal say to the human after the human said hi? Nothing, after all stuffed animals can't talk

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can not talk, therefore we can never find out from the chicken, who is the only thing that knows why it crossed the road. Scientists have study chickens and say that it most likely saw something edible, like a bug or some grain and walked over to eat it.

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What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

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mc hammers income.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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