I got it Nero, lets just be friends for now and forget about the work I do here and you there.

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I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other!

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Boobs In The Third Grade? A. Because She's 21

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If life throws you melons you might be dyslexic, but you also might not be.

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Halo < COD

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Yes, but he hasn't.

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According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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Roses are red-ish Violets are blue-ish If it weren't for Jesus we'd all be jewish

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A Priest, a Minister, and a Rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, a joke?"

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Doorbell salesman.

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Ms. Smoot's class

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

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marshal sterio had sex

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Why did Susie fall off the swing Because she had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there... Not Susie Why did the plane crash Susie was flying it

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How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

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what do you call a little girl next to a mexican? a rape victim.

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The Irish man was sober.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

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Why could the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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