What did the salad say to the dressing? Nothing! Carrots don't talk!

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What do you call a highschooler who smokes weed, shops at the mall, and has date-raped one girl so far? Popular.

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree, in the middle of august, with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A: None, snakes dont have armpits :D

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Knock Knock Who's there? Luke Futie

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how many dead babys can fit in a bathtub 17

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If she's old enough for jail, than shes old enough to rail.

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What did the cop do when he saw two Mexicans buying coke? Warned them of the health risks of drinking carbonated soft drinks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

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A turkey and a ham walk into a room. The ham says to the turkey "You're a turkey." The turkey in response says, "Yeah, well you're a ham!" They both then get their heads chopped off, as the room they were in was a slaughterhouse.

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3 penguins meet each other in penguin #1's backyard for a pool party. The first penguin climbs up the steps of the water slide gets to the top, looks around and then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The second penguin climbs up the steps, looks around then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The third penguin hastily climbs the steps and slides down the slide radio -Soulbroker

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Sticks and stones can break my bones And words can make me lonely

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Why did the golfer wear two pair of trousers? Because he's a wanker

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I dumped this chick who was cross eyed. I thought she was seeing other people.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Me.

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Why did the blonde drown in the bathtub? Her father repeatedly molested her and beat her mother, she no longer wanted to live in such a life and promptly committed suicide

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A black man walks into a bar. It turns out he is a notorious serial killer and he procedes to violently murder everyone in the bar.

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Why did sally fall of the swing? SHE HAD NO ARMS!

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obama

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ss sa asd g dg asd g asd g sdg s dg sad g ads g s dg sad g sadg as dg as dg sdg ds gs dg sdg sd g sdg sd g sdg ds gsd g ds g sdg sd g sdg sd g sdg as sdg know i'm sayin?

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What is the greatest anti-joke ever told? I had it right here, but I lost it when I was being raped by a Triceratops.

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A Priest in a Rabbi walk into a bar. They talk about religion.

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what is stupid and reading this you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops