A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What happened to the latino and asian man in math class when they had a test? They both recieved exceptional scores as they both helped each other study the night before.

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Why are black people so good at sports? Because there black.

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-Knock Knock. -Come in.

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How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

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Hellen Keller

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This is my rifle, this is my gun, one is for shooting, the other is decorative.

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Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF

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a man walked into a bar, however the bar was in Pakistan so he got shot by terrorists

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World Peace

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So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

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Whats funny about ISIS? Nothing, you asshole, its terrifying.

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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How do you kill a retard? Slit his throat.

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Whats worse than 1 dead baby in a bag? Ten dead babies in one bag.

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name is not Mark.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

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What did the bus driver say to the black man? I like your shoes.

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How do u shit With ur ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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