Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

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WNBA

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What smells, tastes, and looks like trash? Garbage.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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what did Johnny get for Halloween. ebola

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2 gingers went to a pumpkin patch... And nobody ever found them( life lesson, don't take your ginger to a pumpkin patch)

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Knock Knock. Shut up.

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment were left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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How do you kill one Jew. A gun. How do you kill a thousand Jews. With a millon angery germans.

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What lives underground? Grandpa

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whats worse the being in a car crash? finding out that your mother and father were in the other car and were fatally injured.

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What happened when a black man's phone went off? He answered it.

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I LIKE TURLES.

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What's worse than getting stuck in traffic? AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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