PENIS

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What happened to the man who was hit by a car? He was immediately rushed to a hospital and was reported to have a broken femur dislocated shoulder and several broken ribs. The driver was later found and was declared driving under the influence of alcoholic beverages and the victim's family sued the driver for the medical costs. The driver was arrested and was sent to a detention center for 3 months and the victim made a complete recovery.

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why did the man die? he got shot

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knock, knock. use the doorbell next time.

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poop.........

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What do you call 3 horses in 1 boat, in the middle of the Dead Sea? Lost

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Two men are sitting in a bar. They finish their drinks and pay the bill before leaving.

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Excuses are like butt holes...they are round

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what makes white men feel embarrassed and and ashamed? when they find out their girllfriend has been sleeping with a black man.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Statutory Rape.

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If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

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When is a door not a door? When it was never actually a door in the first place and you just thought, for whatever reason, that i was.

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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What do you call an anti joke website? http://anti-joke.com

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Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map. Maria: This is it. Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America? Class: Maria did.

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A Muslim, a Jew, a Christian, and an Atheist are eating at the same table. They are friends, and they do this from time to time.

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

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Would I ever lie to you? No, because lying is bad.

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Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

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A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

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What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

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Did you see that van with the word "Free Candy" painted on it? I'm also glad to see a successful entrepreneur capable of advertising free wares as an incentive to attract customers in such a recession. It's a great deal for both parties.

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Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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