There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

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How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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Why couldn't the boy with no arms and no Legs swim? Because he was black.

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What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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why is ginger kid so sad? Because his all family was killed

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How could you tell Adam and Eve wasn't black? ANSWER--YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TAKE A RIB FROM A BLACK MAN. ISSAIAH FROM OHIO YOLO:]

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Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

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I drink poodle juice for breakfast lunch and dinner I was then turned into a tree

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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