(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: Why is daddy wrestling mommy? A: Well Jimmy, that is called sexual intercourse. That is how you were created, and many people of all ages engage in this activity every second.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock Knock! It's me! Hello? Hello! Why didn't they answer him? He was at the desert, with a disconnected phone. Also, my Captcha for this is "lose face" Good job solf mediya

thumb_up thumb_down -21

The Piglodocus has been featured in films such as "Jurassic Pork" and "Land before Swine".

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock knock. I've got a gun. Knock kn [*BANG!*] [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -21

George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

thumb_up thumb_down -21

You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops