Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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Why is Texas so hot? The sun

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

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I'm Polish.

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What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

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What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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Why did to plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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