Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

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A man walks into a bar not a duck though

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

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Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

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Your mom is so old she died

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

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What do you call a bright orange fish? A gold fish.

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

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Your momma is so fat that she could benefit from loosing a couple of pounds.

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Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops