Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

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I love you.

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What do you get when you cross an octopus with a camel? Nothing, inter-species breeding is impossible.

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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Three kids were waiting in line at a camp. One said how long is the wait. The other two said i hope its long. They were waiting in line for the gas chambers at auchwitz

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Why do birds suddenly appear? If you were more observant, you would notice they usually approach gradually.

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Uncle Eugene enjoyed to drive. Then he was killed in a car crash.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Just one.

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A duck walked up to a bad hearing drug dealer, and dealer asked duck, "What you do want?" A duck said, "Quack!" So dealer gave duck a crack

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How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

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knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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what do you call a pizza with a lot of jalapenos. spicy.

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What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

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Your mother is so fat, that she's working really hard to get back in shape so that she can support her family.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

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1+1= 69

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62

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

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You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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