What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what do you use to blindfold chinese person? dental floss!!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

There is a very old lady at the bottom of a long flight of steep stairs with a large amount of groceries piled up in her hands. How did she make it to the top?? She walked.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

thumb_up thumb_down +17

q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops