what did the girl say when she got a ring? OHHH look i got a ring!

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''Wanna hear a joke?'' ''Sure'' ''a joke''

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Yo mama is stupid that she has an IQ below 70 and can be classified as mentally retarded.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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How many dead babies can u fit in a bath tub 17

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i saw a garbage truck it had garbage in it

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Ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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What did the unintelligent sports jock say to the band geek. Hey.

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter? Whatever his name is?

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

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Laws are initially proposed in Parliament as bills. They become Acts after being approved three times by Parliamentary votes and then receiving Royal Assent from the Governor-General. The majority of bills are promulgated by the government of the day (that is, the party or parties that have a majority in Parliament). It is rare for government bills to be defeated, indeed the first to be defeated in the twentieth century was in 1998. It is also possible for individual MPs to promote their own bills, called member's bills; these are usually put forward by opposition parties, or by MPs who wish to deal with a matter that parties do not take positions on.

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How do you kill a blonde? I don't. Murder is a crime.

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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they make me sick. i hate them all with their big noses. they should all be rounded up and............... Oh I'm sorry, i thought this was anti-jew.com

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-Why Peter is going to mall for buying some beer? -Because he was 18 and he was able to do it.

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Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

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There was a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman. All three of three of them walked into a bar. They began a heated debate over the benefits of their healthcare plan, payed the tab on their drink, then proceeded to drive home in their Toyota Prius.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

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WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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