What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

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How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Ambulance. Ambulance who? Sir, we're going to need you to come down to the hospital, your son is dead.

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guess what im a bitch i have no balls and i can slap your mum in the face

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Q:Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A:One less drunk

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Whats the most impotent thing to remember when your going skateboarding? A skateboard.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Q: What happens when two planes both crush a tower in New York City? A: Bad news.

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a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

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Why is the country in a national deficit? Because the Illuminati want to control all human beings in a socialist new world order.

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Knock knock? Whose There? Not Suzie, She can't knock

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So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

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what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? a hospital fire.

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What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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Yo mama so fat she at the rest of this joke.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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so 3 guys are a plane George W. Bush, a mexican, and a chinese man. the plane is going down because of too much weight they haave to throw things out. The mexcan throws out a suitcase full of tacos and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then the chinese throws out a suitcase full of rice and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then George W. Bush pushes the mexican out and says "we have to enough of these in out country."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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